I am on the computer.

I look over into the kitchen.

I see Kort(6 yrs old) making himself a sandwich.

"Whatcha doing?", I ask.

"Makin' another samitch.", he replies like I'm from another planet.

Bittersweet.

On one hand--YeeHaw!!!He can make his own lunch. A whole new world of freedom opened up.

On the other hand----I will never be needed for lunch again. That's what I do. I'm needed and then I help. :(

All new territory. In 10 days (according to Kennedy's sparkly paper chain), I will drop off all five of my kids at school and head to work.

Wow. Not bad, just different. I think I will even like it. But I'm not a---stay at home mom---anymore. That's what I've been since 1995. I think I will miss it. I am looking forward to the new system, but a little mourning for the stay at home mom phase. I will wear black for two days. Then I will be fine.

I am a little strange. As I get older I am enjoying my strangeness more and more.

Well I hate to post and run, but...well truth be told, someone just puked. And I'm needed, so I help. Maybe this new freedom isn't so bad after all. Maybe one day they will puke and clean up after themselves. That will NOT be bittersweet. That will be heavenly.

p.s.: Don't even ask about the two inch gap between the edge of my stovetop and the edge of my countertop. It is a constant source of irritation. Let's just say...I told her so!!!!

Sorry, I"m a sissy!

I have tried several times to write this post. I don't have what it takes. I can't go through it all again. Let me just say. Heavenly Father listens to and answers prayers. Not just Mormon prayers. Jewish, Baptist and Catholic prayers. I will forever be grateful for all the people in this community for all the prayers and services they did for my family.

Kade had brain surgery to remove all the infection in his brain. Very scary. For several days, we didn't know how Kade would be when he came out. If he would be Kade at all. The doctors were very surprised and thrilled with his recovery. He is the same old Kade again. Laughing ,joking and faking a seizure to trick his mom. (seriously not funny!) We still give antibiotics every night in his PIC line. We will do that for 2 or 3 more weeks. He is on seizure medicine until December. But almost every day, I look at him and tear up. We almost lost him. I can't explain what that does to a mom's heart. But ripping it in two comes close.

I can't finish this post without mentioning what a great husband I have. He was always by my side. We stood together and talked with too many doctors to count. Without fail one of us would break down in tears. The other would step up and listen to the info and ask the questions that were in both our minds. I would never have made it without his love and strength. One of the nurses siad it best: "You two make a great team." I agree with her.

We are all settling back into a normal routine. School shopping, football practice starting for Dakota, roping all we can before school starts and just enjoying being home. Thanks to all of you who said a prayer for our Kade. They were felt, heard and answered.